beware of what you wish for...

Many have tried to pray in time of need. Some were fulfilled, some weren't. As a little kid, I (and I'm pretty sure, I'm not the only one) also had wishes. But my wishes were a bit extreme (when it comes to the wishes, I think I might be the only one).

I wished at a certain time, while my whole family and I, of course, were in a plane flying somewhere, that I'd really like to see a plane crash, cause it would've been spectacular. My mistake was to actually speak out my wish, which led to my mother sitting with fear and wishing (or praying in silence) that it wouldn't happen. As we all can see, my wish that day didn't come true (thank you God for not listening to my wish that day).

I also recall a similar wish, while sitting in a car driving between skyscrapers, that I really wanted to see one of the high buildings explode. And again god pretended, he (or she) was deaf. But later that day I realized that I had spoken out my wish a bit too loud, causing my mother to once again pray to counteract my wish.

I wonder what she thought of having a child around 7 or 8 years old wishing for bad things to happen.

Not saying, that I wished that 9/11 happened, but I somehow felt guilty for actually wishing something like that would happened (about 11 years before it actually happened). In a way 9/11 was 2 wishes made 11 years before it actually happened made into 1 incident. God bless their souls and may they rest in peace.

Of course, being the little kid I was, I concluded that wishing for things with a bang and saying your wishes out loud would cause god to pretend to be deaf. After learning this valuable lesson, I wished for something I never spoke of until it actually happened, which is not long after I wished for it. The wish was "please god, make my life more interesting than the plain boring life I had in my family."


I have to say, god has a great sense of humor. Boy, did god make my life interesting. I realized I was gay not long after I wished for it. Which led to a feud in the family (many years later) and so on. But for once I felt god actually listened to what I wished for. And god delivered.

As I have mentioned in my previous entry (see: 4 arms or more), my current relationship, with the married man (he is married to a fellow gay sister), although it is still short, but it has definitely made my life way more interesting than I could ever imagine. The ups and downs of the relationship is probably a result of my wish.
Now I wish my life was less interesting. Damn it! It will never be fulfilled. After learning this very very valuable lesson, I became more careful when it comes to my wishes. Not wanting to wish something bad to anyone or anything that I might regret in 11 years or so.

And I also learned, if I really wanted something then I should wish for it but in silence. My wishes is only between my and the creator of the universe and the one I partially blame for making my life sometimes feels like hell on earth.

Naa, just kidding. I have god to thank for everything I have.

I will always remember this, a lesson that I had to learn the hard way.

I wish I would win (...)

Stop there gay man! It may not come true if you end that sentence out loud!