when gay and straight collide...

For a few who know me, would laugh to hear this story. But for those, who don't know me (which is the rest of the world), let me describe my flatmate. I live in a small apartment about 1100 sq foot with a cute guy I'll call "M" (Finally, a bit of James Bond in my blog. Soon I'll be telling you guys stories of my mission in Cuba and how the sex party was, in of the evening where I didn't have to work. Save that one for another time).

"M" is so cute and handsome, which many disagree to this certain opinion I have, about my flatmate. Although sometime they'll come to realize I was right all along. He may not be someone you'd think of handsome or cute rightaway. But there's something about him, that's sexy and seducing, but that's not the point.

So my flatmate is straight, although many may think he is not as straight as many straight men come. Trust me, he is. The point is, "M" is straight. We go to the same university, have the same major and live together. At campus "M" is quite close to a certain chick, I always knew, is a lesbian. Last weekend was the opening weekend to "Christopher Street Day" in my city. The day all gay men and women as well as transgender and transexual and bisexual get together and hunt people out of the street in the city. One day I am not to fond of because Christopher Street was a social-political event back in the late 60's in New York. Europe had nothing to do with it. But whatever. Well the chick called him on saturday and she was wondering if "M", my straight flatmate, wanted to join her to an opening party. To the invitation, "M" responded "Well, thanks for the invitation. But sorry, not gay. You should probably ask my flatmate "The Gay Man".

"Your flatmate is gay? "The Gay Man"^*) is gay?!?" was her raction. I actually wonder, why some people would be surprise to hear the fact that I, "The Gay Man", am in fact gay. Why the hell, would I use "The Gay Man" as my nickname here if I were straight. That would be misleading.

Apparently the news of me being gay is a shock to a lot of people. She is not the first one, who was surprised by this news.

So the lesbian thought I was straight and "M" was gay. I really don't know me being "accused" of being straight, should I take it as a compliment or an insult. In the gay community, seeing "...straight acting only..." is just as common as seeing a caucasian walking down the street in Canon City, Colorado (don't ask me why I chose this city to be my example...). So in that sense, it is a compliment. Is it? Or does it mean I am cured from homosexuality? My parents would be jumping up and down (since jumping right and left is not that easy) in joy. They'd probably throw a big party for 7 days and 7 nights, if I were to turn straight.

^*) _{Name has been changed to protect the author's identity. Batman would never hand out Bruce Wayne's business card.}

thoughts of a fellow blogger...

Chatting with a fellow blogger Rima Fauzi, who pointed out the fact that my blog is mostly about sex. I beg to differ with Rima's opinion (Claiming to be a Goddess, with faithful followers). My blog entries are not all sexual-related themes.

Let me see.... First entry was "welcome to my humble blog...". It wasn't sexual in any way, unless you count asking for gender online as a preliminary act before any actual sexual conduct. If that's the case, guilty as charged.

My second entry, "4 arms or more..." is definitely PG13. Let's be honest, any 13 year old kid on the streets nowadays knows about sex, so mentioning being invited to a private sex party is not sexual at all. You wouldn't say, discussing menu for a buffet is actual eating, would you?

The third one, who many believes to be a charm (still don't get it why. If it works on the first time, that would be a charm for me...), "beware if what you wish for..." has nothing in anyway what-so-ever to do with sex. Unless you know someone out there, whose fetish happens to be doing it near/on/in^*) an exploding building. I don't know anyone with such fetish.

"party of many..." is without a doubt an entry, that was about sex. Almost explicitly talking about the number of men I had sex almost simultaneously and wishing to have more than 2 hands.

The entry "dry season..." maybe easily mistaken for a sexual related entry, but it was more to the dry season my brain is having, not being able to produce a wort for a new entry.

"mlp..." is so harmless, that I even considered sending my parents this link. But not wanting to cause heart failure to either one of them, I decided this should be kept a secret from them.

After reviewing all my entries, I really can't see Rima's point about my blog being very sexual.

^*) _{choose the one that applies.}

mlp...

The digital age of meeting men has changed a lot in my(our) live(s). Yes it makes it even easier to pretend you are someone else. My favourite would be using names such as John Hardcock (pretty obvious, since having a hard cock is something very valuable in the gay scene).

But what is really fun is that you don't have to spend that much time to do anything. For example all the abbreviations made only for the online world (as described some in welcome to my humble blog).

The first time I went online and went looking for other gay men, I felt like the internet had its own language. I mean in headlines of people's profile were more less like this: "GWM ISO GAM" or "GWM ISO FTA with bottom G*M". Of course I realized afterwards that such abbreviations existed long before online dating existed.

Here are some of the online abbreviations you might use sometime soon or not, or you might have used before...

GWM = Gay White Male

GAM = Gay Asian Male

GHM = Gay Hispanic Male

ISO = In Search Of

FTA = Fun, Travel or Adventure

ASL = Age, Sex and Location?

POZ = HIV Positive

NEG = HIV Negativ

FF = Fist Fuck

WS = (For those who have had PCs before Windows existed, nope it doesn't stand for "Word Star") Water Sport, meaning anything that has to do with piss

KV = Kaviar (Yup, sounds elegant and classy, but it has a whole different meaning when you are browsing a german's profile. KV means scat)

CBT = Cock & Ball Torture

TT = Tit Torture

SM = Sado Maso

BDSM = Bondage, Sado & Maso

and many more.

I don't get all the point of this abbreviation thing. I prefer to chat like I talk. I don't go out there and meet guys and ask "Hi, my name is Hardcock, John Hardcock. So, interested in WS/KV/CBT (or whatever you want to ask)?". I prefer to avoid miscommunication. It is probably a stupid reason to avoid abbreviations. Some would say, it makes life easier. But I could easily mistaken an abbreviation for another which might not make sense at all.

I have mistaken FF for Free Food. It does make sense right? It did to me. And BB was BodyBuilder. God was I wrong about that one. BB stands for bareback, which means sex without condom. Well being the innocent gay man I was, it was easy to honestly mistaken these abbreviations. Ever since I always ask what does he mean with the abbreviation he used.

Not wanting to mistake TGIF for Thank God It's Fuckday (which would be anyday for me) or even worse GFY for Go Fuck Yourself.

_{p.s. MLP stands for My Latest Post or when it's no longer my latest, then it would be My Last Post, if it is to be my last. It could even stand for My Lamest Post.
p.s.s. TGIF stands for Thank God It's Friday and GFY actually stands for Good For You.}

dry season...

Waiting for inspiration to fill this humble blog is not easy. I wonder how Carrie (Bradshaw) manage to always have something to tell. I actually wonder how anyone have endless ammunition for writing.

I am experiencing, what the technical term would be writer's block. I really wish there is a cure for this illness, since it has become somewhat like a regular visitor in the period, where I do wish to write something new and exciting.

But well, since there aren't any medication, anyone knows for sure it would work against write's block, I guess I'd just have to try my best to work with it (trust me, it's not something easy to work with). Come to think of it, having this illness, it is more less like sex. Sometimes you just can't get enough. Sometimes you just don't get enough. I guess whoever thought of the concept Yin Yang was frustated when he/she didn't get enough sex. Well he/she could've been a writer as well, but somehow sex is just more fun.

I have to admit, being gay and having sex being somewhat like the national anthem, using sex an example just seems like more fun. Sex is one of the few words you could put in any sentence, and still it would feel right. Or is it just me?

party of many...

Being promiscuous when you are gay is like being naughty when you're a little kid. It's not unusual. Me being a gay man and love sex more than almost anything, being promiscuous would be an understatement.

While visiting a member of my family (ma soeur), I had the chance to experience something I never thought I would ever experience. A private sex party. Yup, the three words, which are my favorite out of all the words that exist.

I was invited by a friend, who was invited by the host. This is not a chance I would throw out the window as if it would come again when I feel like it. Good thing I went there, cause I don't regret any second I was at the party. Being a gay man between 20 other men, whose sole purpose were to fuck as if doomsday is lurking just around the corner waiting for the right moment to knock on everyone's door.

I have to admit not having sex with all 20 men, is like going to an all-you-can-eat restaurant having paid full price but could only eat the appetizer. I was disappointed of myself only having sex with 6 men simultaneously.

But it was an experience I would never regret nonetheless. The bright side was, at least I had sex with the 6 hottest men according to my taste.

This is the perfect example as one of many reasons why I wish I had the option of having 2 or more arms (see: 4 arms or more).

Having a threesome already doubles the pleasure. Imagine having a sixsome. I need not imagine any longer. I miss the feeling of the intensified pleasure. Not that I'm complaining about the sex with my boyfriend (trust me no one would complain about the sex with my boyfriend), but it is different.

My advice, if such an opportunity knocks on your sexlife's door. Don't turn it down, be open to new experiences.

Now I only wonder, when the time comes, where me and my boyfriend decide to throw our own private sex party, how much more intensive it would be.

beware of what you wish for...

Many have tried to pray in time of need. Some were fulfilled, some weren't. As a little kid, I (and I'm pretty sure, I'm not the only one) also had wishes. But my wishes were a bit extreme (when it comes to the wishes, I think I might be the only one).

I wished at a certain time, while my whole family and I, of course, were in a plane flying somewhere, that I'd really like to see a plane crash, cause it would've been spectacular. My mistake was to actually speak out my wish, which led to my mother sitting with fear and wishing (or praying in silence) that it wouldn't happen. As we all can see, my wish that day didn't come true (thank you God for not listening to my wish that day).

I also recall a similar wish, while sitting in a car driving between skyscrapers, that I really wanted to see one of the high buildings explode. And again god pretended, he (or she) was deaf. But later that day I realized that I had spoken out my wish a bit too loud, causing my mother to once again pray to counteract my wish.

I wonder what she thought of having a child around 7 or 8 years old wishing for bad things to happen.

Not saying, that I wished that 9/11 happened, but I somehow felt guilty for actually wishing something like that would happened (about 11 years before it actually happened). In a way 9/11 was 2 wishes made 11 years before it actually happened made into 1 incident. God bless their souls and may they rest in peace.

Of course, being the little kid I was, I concluded that wishing for things with a bang and saying your wishes out loud would cause god to pretend to be deaf. After learning this valuable lesson, I wished for something I never spoke of until it actually happened, which is not long after I wished for it. The wish was "please god, make my life more interesting than the plain boring life I had in my family."


I have to say, god has a great sense of humor. Boy, did god make my life interesting. I realized I was gay not long after I wished for it. Which led to a feud in the family (many years later) and so on. But for once I felt god actually listened to what I wished for. And god delivered.

As I have mentioned in my previous entry (see: 4 arms or more), my current relationship, with the married man (he is married to a fellow gay sister), although it is still short, but it has definitely made my life way more interesting than I could ever imagine. The ups and downs of the relationship is probably a result of my wish.
Now I wish my life was less interesting. Damn it! It will never be fulfilled. After learning this very very valuable lesson, I became more careful when it comes to my wishes. Not wanting to wish something bad to anyone or anything that I might regret in 11 years or so.

And I also learned, if I really wanted something then I should wish for it but in silence. My wishes is only between my and the creator of the universe and the one I partially blame for making my life sometimes feels like hell on earth.

Naa, just kidding. I have god to thank for everything I have.

I will always remember this, a lesson that I had to learn the hard way.

I wish I would win (...)

Stop there gay man! It may not come true if you end that sentence out loud!

4 arms or more...

Well, who would've thought. Me posting 2 blog-entries in one night. But here I am and this is my second entry tonight for this blog. So here goes.

While chatting today with a fellow blogger, I realized how limited we are as people in general and I am as a gay man in particular just because we were born with a default setting of having only two arms.

Yes, it may sound cruel to have said such a thing, especially when there are people struggling having none of the things I have two of and am still not satisfied. Greed, but that's another topic for another entry somewhere in the near or distant future.

Yes, I have two arms and I wish I had more. How much more? I can't say yet. But if I should decide this very moment, I'd probably ask for 6 arms. Yup, I think 6 arms should cover just about what I need. I will of course refer sex as one of the reasons to having 6 arms. I can say this much now, it involves 7 other hot men.

But the main reason to have 6 arms is actually for smaller purposes in life, which would make a whole lot of difference in one's quality of life. For instance, the moment I came up with this wish, was when I was chatting with a fellow blogger. My arms had to jump back and forth from the keyboard to rolling a joint and back to the keyboard. "If only I had another pair of hands" was the first thought came to mind.

And then I realized how easier life would have been if you had the option of having 2 or more arms. While sitting in front of a PC, there are various activities most women and gay men and very few heterosexual men can actually perform simultaneously. With 6 arms, I could've chatted, roll a joint and eat something.

Or if I was watching porn, which I love to do if I had the spare time, I could simultaneously stimulate more areas on my body, while jerking off. Or watching porn while jerking off and roll a joint. Or whatever combination you have in mind, having 6 arms while sitting in front of your own PC.

Having 6 arms for me would increase my sexual pleasure 6 times than having "only" 2 arms. While visiting my sister, I had the chance of going to private sex party organized by a friend of some guy I met online. He invited me to go there. Me being the gay man, who loves sex almost more than anything in life, wouldn't even think about rejecting such invitations. That has changed a bit after having a boyfriend, who is married by the way. Another topic for another blog entry.

So the guy picked me up and we went to the private sex party. The first five minutes for me was like being 6 years old again and walked either into a candy store, which in my case is more like a supermarket, where anything edible equals a candy, or walked into a Barbie beachhouse and flirt with Ken. I just sat somewhere, where I could see the whole action, while determining which men I would allow to have sex with me. And of course I found 6 men.

Since I (or any other gay men) could only accommodate 4 men at a time, having 6 men around you would leave 2 men feeling left behind. Now, we want to be fair to all, this is where having more than 2 arms play an important role. Although then I didn't have any problems whatsoever. And none of the men felt left out.

But still, having more than 2 arms would've been a huge help. If I don't have to decide right now, I would create a list of possible scenes in the near future, where having more than 2 arms would be a blessing.

welcome to my humble blog...

Welcome to my blog. Well for some of the guys, who happen to be gay as well, they probably are wondering, "What the fuck does welcome mean?".

I don't blame them, online mostly you see strange abbreviations for the sake of keeping it short and fast. For example, welcum. Well it saves you 1 letter less to type.

YIPPIIIEEE!!

I just spared my muscle one unnecessary movement, that may have burned 0,5 kcal. That is a particular abbreviation, probably only gay guys know.

There are more popular abbreviation. Here is one, probably even your grandfather knows (or knew), "asl" or also known as "a/s/l ?". Which is the easiest way to find out the three most important informations you really need to know.

A for Age
A good way to find out if it is legal to conduct certain actions, only adults with adults do, with both parties consenting the action, which is about to be performed by/to/on^*) each other.

S for Sex
Nope, it is not a question whether you'd like to have sex with the one on the other end, but more about your gender.

I remember times, where a friend of mine back in high school told me stories about him pretending to be a girl in chatrooms, just out of fun. I joined him once, and I thought at times it was weird, but at times also very intriguing and arousing.

Yes, I am one of those who actually had a phase where I thought sexchat was sexy. Now I realize, it was just a form to get to know the scene before actually attend certain events the scene actually really has to offer.
So back to the abbreviation. That was S.

L for Location
I know I don't want to meet someone from the city/village/cave^*) XYZ while I live 2000 miles away. This is actually a fun part of chatting. Getting to know someone from another city and in almost real-time, without even having to leave your living room/bedroom/toilet^*). So this is pretty crucial for many chatters in a lot of places.

"Welcum asl" is probably the first line I mostly received, while I used to "hang out" in chat rooms on mIRC. But chatting online has changed a lot when it comes to writing skills. Not as if we don't have problems with people who don't know how to spell things.

And of course there's also the one-letter abbreviations. Instead of are, just the letter r. You is now online only u. Or the number abbreviations. "r u ready 4 dinner?" or "r u going 2 see him?".

And not to forget, capital letter only exists when you want to show emotions. "F*!$ UUUU!!!!" or "I LUUUUUV UU, HONEY!". Other than showing emotions, using capital letters are not really popular.

The most famous are "emoticons". Or emotion-icons. You know all the smiley faces and stuff. :-) or :-P or :-X or ;-) and many more. Emoticons may not be a form of abbreviation, but it surely has found its way to make chatting even more simpler, shorter and faster.

Life changes as time changes. I see life as a series of adventures. And adventures vary from time to time and it changes as well as time changes.

so welcum 2 my humble blog. this is my online story n i hope u njoy it as much as me writing it.

^*) _{choose the one that applies.}